TTC is HARD & randomness

So lately I think my depression has gotten even worse!!!
My due date for my most recent pregnancy was early last week and I've been nothing but rude to some people cuz they're pregnant. ( not good I know )

We have officially been trying to conceive for TOO long now (just over 2 years) almost 3 if you count when we well I stopped taking BC.

Gained too much weight UGH...
thinking about doing Jillian Michaels 30 day shred....
From pre pregnancy the first one in deb 2009, I've gained a little over 40 ugh that's right freaking FORTY pounds.

Depression well get ya and get you good. Why can't I be back in my depression stage where I was losing weight and was anoxic/bulimic ?

Or actually finally have a healthy pregnancy and not be depressed ALL the time!!!!!
I'll talk morning/all day sickness any day gratefully.

seriously even work is HARD, My boss hired another pregnant chick oh and sat her right next to me. Ummm hello???

Or anytime at work when I'm not feeling great the girls all try and get into my head saying maybe you're pregnant???
Then here I am over analyzing every little thing... Hummmm when were we intimate last??

It's so sad when you can't even remember...

And it sucks to not feel great and think every little thing c o u l d be a pregnancy symptom...ugh!!!

I know I'm going to be the best momma so why can't I have a baby... Why do all thaws crack heads and teens get babies I hate it... I really do!!!

I tired of being sad all of the time , the littlest thing will make me cry.

Well enough sap and ranting for the day


- with <3 Laura.